


Sadstuck Drabbles

by TanukiKyle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:57:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TanukiKyle/pseuds/TanukiKyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Yoccu said 'put sad things in my ask box'. She also said 'look in my art tag for ships'. Pages later, here we are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sadstuck Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yoccu](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Yoccu).



 

\--

You’re not angry when you go for Gamzee. If you were angry you would have fled, plotted, planned. Kitties do the playing after all. What you are is afraid. Because you’ve been moirails with Equius since the perigree you grew proper limbs. You don’t know what you’d be without him, and you’re afraid to find out.

\--

When you see Vriska in the bubble, your heart clenches. She is so small and so big, so angry and so beautiful. Beside her is Tavros, so tiny now. It’s been eight years since the end of the game, and Vriska will never grow up.

\--

You and Vriska are gods now. Your battles should shake the earth, inspire hatred so black your pupils couldn’t go wide enough to see a single pinprick. But as you watch Vriska, the only one left alive in a timeline that’s doomed for all but her, all you can manage is a sorrow you’ve never known about death before.

\--

You try so hard to think Jane isn’t settling for second best with you. But when she moans someone elses name into the sheets you shut your eyes and let the tears flow.

\--

You’d fixed her last time, drawn her out of the grimdarkness with little more than naivety. This time with years on your side you’d thought it’d be easier. The tentacle through your chest that scorches out your heart and sends white ribbons of agony through you is somewhat of a surprise.

\--

You wish you didn’t know things, that you didn’t fall asleep, that you didn’t live on a remote island far away from everyone. You think then, when John asked you out you could have followed your feelings and said yes.

\--

It’s been ten years, eight months, two weeks, one day, eighteen hours, nine minutes, fifty-two seconds. You’d like to pretend you didn’t know it more exact than that but you do. John rolls over on your mattress, sleeping the sleep of the oversexed. Tomorrow he will go home to his wife and two kids, and you will play a mediocre gig at a club you’re getting too old for, because despite the sex, the snuggles, John isn’t gay, Dave!!

\--

You and Vriska have never learnt restraint. And so one time you both let loose a little too much and all that’s left of your bed is rubble with grimdark ooze. It wouldn’t have been so bad if your moirail, vriska matesprit (if you don’t think his name it won’t be so real) hadn’t been in it at the time.

\--

Over the years, Jade grows wild. She’s never been an inside girl, but now her sanity is slipping away. You were never a true therapist so all you can do is watch as the girl you love loses more and more to the monster inside of her. You don’t even have the heart to wish it was you, anymore.

\--

Dave’s never been able to control his remnants of time powers. You can’t control yours either, but yours just shift space. Dave lives three days for your every one. When he dies of old age you’re still young, and this is another curse you lay at the game’s feet.

\--

You’re a legislacerator, bound to the empire. Karkat is a mutant, slated to be culled. You two risk everything to be together, but it works. Until the day it doesn’t, until the day you go to your spot and instead of him ranting there’s red, red everywhere. You don’t think it’s your favourite colour after that.

\--

Sollux is the case of the century, a mutant slated for culling so you stole him from the pits, dissect his brain, keep him talking. You’d usually be happy. But you can’t shake the feeling that you’re forgetting something. When he dies he calls you Rose. You’ve never told him your name.

\--

At the end of the game you hadn't expected fairness. Hadn't expected everything to go back to the way it was. But as you sit in your house, 13 years old again with your dad's body pooling blood on the floor and 12 trollhandles that will never light up again on your laptop, you think you might have expected a little better than this.

\--

You'd always though you and Equius were perfect together, as is. Then you met Jade, and what was once perfect became incandescent. But when you reach the end of the game you don't get a second chance. And Jade's eyes aren't blank. Somehow perfection feels so hollow, now.

\--

  
You know that it's silly. But your quadrants feel empty even when they're full. What you had with Vriska wasn't a quadrant, so in the eyes of the empire, it was nothing. To you, it was everything. You wait, eyes ever-dull, for the day you might see her again.

\--

You hate Gamzee like you've never hated before. You don't know what you feel for Karkat, but Gamzee draws you like a flame. You find out what you feel for Karkat when he finds you two hatesnogging. You'd always thought heartbreak a silly thing. Now your chest feels like knives you think it's not so trivial anymore.

\--

  
You wait for Gamzee. Try to seek him out even whilst the others whisper about his nefarious plans. When he sacrifices himself to Lord English to win the game you don't cry. You do however,try to meet up with him a few weeks later. You don't know if dreambubbles exist anymore. You don't really care.

\--

  
Meenah doesn't move from the memory of her hive for an aeon. You play the memories you have of her over and over again till even they fade into splinters. And then you wait, knees tucked to your chest, silent as death itself. She never comes.

\--

Sometimes you open up Nepeta's chumhandle and read over your logs. Read through the pouncellor and the dragon. Read names with too many y's and not enough vowels. Sometimes you type to the offline name. Fill up the box with all the things unsaid. But you never press enter because there's nothing left now but memories and a hollow place where you once blew her kisses.

\--

What you and Kanaya have isn't a matespritship. What you have is a mourning party, a hollow space where someone should be and if you both wish hard enough you might catch glimpses of spidery fangs.

 

 

 


End file.
